She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we're so committed to being not committed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
