my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
