Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
