i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
