and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
