threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
