He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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