my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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