apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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