Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
