i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
