Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
