are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
