And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
