Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize