Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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