so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
