i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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