Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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