Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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