Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
