Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
