I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
