my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
