I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
