I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
