U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
