It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
