There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
