sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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