Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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