yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
