i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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