How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
