I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
