FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
