Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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