he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
