wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
