i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
