Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
