do herpes really smell.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
