he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
