so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
