i barfeds in our rink
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need moral support for this bender
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
