Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
