I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
