Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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