Where is the hickey?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
