If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
