No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
