Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
