Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize