I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
