Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
