I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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