she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
