butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
