he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
