I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
