can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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