Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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