the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
